Week 3: Stardom
Day 15: The Gentle Hands of Josephine
Days 12 through 14 were spent honing their craft, with a little relaxation thrown in (are the initial stages of bandship this boring in the real world?). They received a call for their next gig on day 13, at the same bar and time as their first show. And, once more, it was a wonderful success. I could even hear their improvement from the last session, noting a few extra cymbal crashes, guitar chords, and keyboard melodies. Of course, Pete was barely audible, but such is the life of a bass player. However, the best part of the night was the amount of exposure it earned MML. I don’t know if there was a record exec in the crowd, or everyone was just SimTweeting about it, but by the end of the night, everyone had become a One-Star Celebrity.
And, since they lived together, and played together, and generally did everything together, this made them quickly advance to Two-Star Celebrities, since apparently all it takes is simply being in the same room as other celebrities. I am proud to say that, despite the speed at which they were becoming known around town, all four members of MML remained as humble as they were when they were just four nobodies, or in Robi’s case, simply known as that crazy guy who swam in dumpsters. Really, the only change was an increase in calls they received, all of which were from their “agents” letting them know about networking opportunities and charity events. However, it wasn’t until the night of day 15 that I realized just how much was beginning to change.
Ok, it’s not a zombie. Apparently it’s a vampire, who also happens to be paparazzi. But she scared the shit out of me. It was 3 am, everyone was sleeping, the doorbell rings, and this is what I was greeted with. Luckily, everyone stayed sleeping. I’m pretty sure if Robi was awake and answered the door, I’d need to be explaining to the police why there was a vampire floating face down in the bay behind the house. Eventually, after five hours of standing around and complaining of how tired she was, the paparazzette of the night finally left, just as the sun was coming up. I knew then that the dynamic of this experiment had just changed. The last thing I or the band needed was bad exposure in such an early stage. But, I had little time to dwell on such thoughts. There were more pressing matters at hand, like how could four Sims not pick up their damn laundry, or why the counter tops all grew some kind of extra-terrestrial green sludge just from making a few batches of pancakes. Whatever the reason, not even neat-freak Claudia could keep up with the mess. It was time to bring out the big guns.
With the hiring of Josephine (I don’t know if that was her real name. That’s just what I called her), the band could focus on making music history. That meant more practice. Masochistic Murder Llama was beginning to sound good, but if they wanted to become the greatest band in the history of the universe, they would need to sound epic. However, nothing epic can be achieved on an empty stomach, so Farrah took it upon herself to cook the house up a nice lunch. Or, she created a new kind of industrial waste, and decided to serve it up anyway.
I’m not too sure what it was supposed to be, but it definitely ended up looking like a plate full of tar. All of them eagerly devoured it though, further fueling my suspicions that Robi had indeed captured their souls as offerings to his dark masters. After lunch, they all returned back downstairs to continue their jamming. We found this:
After mopping up the ever-growing puddle, Josephine decided that she had put in a full day’s work, charged me $125, and left, with the washing machine still hemorrhaging suds and the puddle continuing to creep across the basement floor. Needless to say, I was not amused, but I chalked it up to first-day nerves. It’s not everyday one gets to clean up after the fastest growing band in the world. Little did I know that there was more to Josephine than meets the eye…
A quick call to a repairman had him out and fixing the washing machine in no time. Unlike Josephine, the close proximity to celebrities seemed to bother him none. But, the combined noise of the drier, the malfunctioning washing machine, and the repairman’s self-directed mumbling made it all but impossible for the band to practice, leading to mid-afternoon break. It is interesting to watch them individually entertain themselves. Robi attempted to catch what looked to be Black Widow spiders that had somehow found their way into the house.
Claudia, as you can see, simply stood there and watched. I’m not sure where Farrah went, because Pete caught my eye and I no longer cared about what the rest of them were doing. Why? To start off, he was watching TV, which was playing something that, for an instant, looked like something you’d see at 2am on Cinemax. I think it was actually some kind of action flick, but before any further verification could be made, the TV broke, which upset Pete something fierce. Well, as upset as a hipster, ginger Sampson could be.
He sat in front of the broken TV for about an hour, contemplating why it had broken, and possibly telling everyone in earshot that he had liked the TV before it had broken. Eventually, the repairmen finished up with the washing machine, and apparently the downstairs toilet which had broken at some point (probably from trying to push four loads of Farrah’s sludge surprise through the pipes). By now, the sun had set and fatigue was beginning to set in after a long day of not doing much. and so everyone cleaned up and headed to bed, bringing yet another day to a close, one focused less on music and more on home improvement. But, such aspects are just as important to a band as their instruments, and now none of them would ever have to worry about cleaning up after themselves…