A Sims Experiment: Days 7 & 8

Week 2: Bringing it All Together

Days 7 & 8: Roomates

As any morning should, the next day began with Robi fighting with himself. Why? Does anyone know? But, I figured it was best to just let him deal with it himself. So, I hopped over to Pete with the intention of calling up the other band members (and Robi once he had stopped fighting) for a jam session. None of them were all that spectacular at their instruments, and they would need all the practice they could muster in order to one day fill stadiums and inspire a new generation to drop out of college and start playing an instrument for money. This is what I found:

Sigh…
Sigh…

He’s only been in the band for less than 24 hours, and he’s already started a fire. I’m not sure if it counts as a “band stat” since he did it in his own home while apparently trying to make dinner, but things are getting crazy a lot sooner than I thought they would. It also pretty much destroyed Pete’s kitchen, which is terrible for Pete, but it gave me an idea. Instead of trying to watch four different Sims, all doing their own thing, why don’t I bring them all together in the same house, much like a new band would live? Some quick real estate browsing told me that none of the existing “cheap” homes were large enough to house four Sims, so I decided to expand on one of the existing houses. Behold!

The view of the bridge is quite nice at night
The view of the bridge is quite nice at night

To get everyone into this architectural beauty, I had to merge all four households together into one, awesome group, and then sell their existing apartments, basically leaving them all without anything (just like a real band!) Fear not, they all soon found themselves standing in front of their new band pad, bright-eyed and ready for the future. Robi celebrated the only way he knew how.

 My only guess is that the flamingo called him a bitch
My only guess is that the flamingo called him a bitch

Of course, everyone else’s celebration began downstairs, jamming on their instruments. The first night as a collaborative family was spent rocking until dawn, when exhaustion finally sent everyone off to bed. At this point, it only makes sense that the next morning began with a dude lazer-ing the toilet.

Fuck you, toilet thief!
Fuck you, toilet thief!

Turns out, during the ten hours the band had lived in the house was in fact long enough to become overdue on the household bills. The life of a Sim is hardcore – pay your bills immediately, or some shaggy-haired lackey will show up while you’re sleeping and make off with your stuff via vacuum lazer. He even took one of the Flamingo Guards tasked with keeping the Gnome prisoner in check.

Robi was inconsolable at such a loss
Robi was inconsolable at such a loss

But, life does go on, and after a quick toilet replacement, spirits were once again high. The gang soon got down to business and grabbed their instruments, jamming out without even bother to put some pants on, proving that pants are just not high on any Sim’s priority list.

Where they’re going, they don’t need pants
Where they’re going, they don’t need pants

This was the routine for the entire first day in Casa del Masochistic Murder Llama – rocking out and building those tunage skills. And, having all four Sims together under the same roof was indeed a much easier and streamlined approach to the experiment. Especially when unexpected moments arose.

By unexpected, I mean that Robi tried to make some pancakes and set the stove on fire. As you can see here, he’s using his fail-proof “look down the nozzle of the fire extinguisher” technique to combat the flames
By unexpected, I mean that Robi tried to make some pancakes and set the stove on fire. As you can see here, he’s using his fail-proof “look down the nozzle of the fire extinguisher” technique to combat the flames

Fortunately, a man like Robi was sure to have set many a fire in his day, and no doubt gained more than enough experience to fight such a measly inferno. After a few intense minutes of both dousing the flames with extinguishing foam and shouting at the stove, he finally managed to stop the blaze, no doubt saving the lives of the entire band. A true hero, indeed. However, this story has an even brighter silver lining – love. That’s right, despite Robi’s masterful use of the extinguisher, the fire department still showed up for what I could only assume was either technical consulting or to help cheer on Robi as he worked his magic. What I didn’t expect was for Robi to fall in love with the firewoman.

Even though it looks like he’s trying to cast a spell on her, the hearts indicate that he’s actually saying “Daaaaaaaamnnnnn!”, and probably “Dat ass!”
Even though it looks like he’s trying to cast a spell on her, the hearts indicate that he’s actually saying “Daaaaaaaamnnnnn!”, and probably “Dat ass!”

If you would’ve asked me who the first band member would be to find love, I would not have chosen Robi. I thought he would be the first one to try and devour his first potential love interest. Or the first to stuff his pockets full of paperclips and fish sticks, but not fall in love. For the first time, I saw Robi in a different light. Perhaps he wasn’t simply just a font of insane antics and unpredictable behaviors. Behind his wild side was a compassionate man who needed love and affection just like everyone else. My new opinion was only further solidified ten minutes later, when I checked back in on him and found him giving the paper girl some sage life wisdom.

Of course, he could have been teaching her the best way to become a servant of the Dark Lord, or informing her of the side dish that he was going to eat her kidneys with, but I’ll allow my thoughts to stay positive for now
Of course, he could have been teaching her the best way to become a servant of the Dark Lord, or informing her of the side dish that he was going to eat her kidneys with, but I’ll allow my thoughts to stay positive for now

Since the house was, at this point, merely just a roof with the essentials needed for a life of rock, the only things my four subjects could do for fun was play their instruments. Which, since they’re all virtuosos, is a good thing, but it makes for long stretches of watching four avatars play instruments, and that doesn’t exactly scream entertainment, unless one of them finally snaps and attacks the others with a drum stick or a guitar string, which I’ve yet to see. So, I decided to step in and add some spice to their lives.

Cannon ball!!
Cannon ball!! 

Sims and pools have long been a wonderful source of entertainment and potential disaster. One minute could be the difference between a frolicking Sim and a face-down body, bobbing lifelessly on top of the water. Add in a guy like Robi, and the potential for tragedy was definitely on the high side. But, taking chances and navigating risks is what makes life fun, so it was definitely time to get our swim on. Let it be said that Masochistic Murder Llama loves them some pool time. Let it also be said that they loooves them some naked pool time.

With the exception of shy Claudia, no one thought twice about stripping down and jumping into a pool with two other people they’d only met a few days before
With the exception of shy Claudia, no one thought twice about stripping down and jumping into a pool with two other people they’d only met a few days before

Eventually, they did decide to throw on their proper swimming attire (for Robi, this meant the same thing as what he’d wear for a night on the town), at which point Claudia shyly crept out of the house and joined the rest of the band. Much fun was had, especially when her and Farrah decided to see who could hold their breath the longest.

Fear began to set in as they both neared the 6 minute mark
Fear began to set in as they both neared the 6 minute mark

The frivolity continued into the evening, as Pete decided to show everyone just how much of a grillmaster he was by cooking up some hotdogs as the sun began to set. Where he pulled the buns from, I have no idea, but as the four of them sat down at their patio picnic table to enjoy their feast, I began to feel that this was truly the beginning of a beautiful friendship between four eager young Sims.

Pictured – friendship. And wieners.
Pictured – friendship. And wieners.

Until about half an hour later, when Claudia suddenly remembered that she was a vegetarian, and painted the inside of the toilet bowl with the remnants of her hotdogs.

To be fair, she had plenty of time to say something. A simple “make mine a tofu dog” would’ve done it.
To be fair, she had plenty of time to say something. A simple “make mine a tofu dog” would’ve done it.

Luckily, no lasting harm was done, and the day concluded with three happy Sims (and one nursing a meat hangover). I knew that the five us all looked forward to the dawning of a new day and new adventures.

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